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A: Where you put the cucumber Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed? A: A liquor cabinet Q: What do girls and noodles have in common? A: A virgin Q: What do you call two fat people talking? Q: What does in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? A: A Genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a Gynecologist looks up your family bush. A: Kermit the frog's finger Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a mosquito? Q: What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters? Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: When a guy dumps a load in the washing machine, it doesn't follow him around. A: Just trying to fit in Q: What's the best thing about a gypsy on her period? Pac-man, because for 25 cents she swallows balls until she dies. A: He got the sack Q: What do you call a cheap circumcism? Q: What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? Q: What's the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple? A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. A: Because he wanted to find a tight seal Q: Why don't orphans play baseball? Q: What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to sleep with? A: They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out." Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common? A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? Q: What do George Zimmerman, OJ Simpson and Masturbation have in common? A: When you finger her, you get your palm red for free. A: A rip-off Q: Did you hear about the celebrity murderer? A: Pimples don't come on a boy's face until they're 13. Q: Whats the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? A: When you pull her pants down her butt is still in them Q: What do you call an artist with a brown finger? A: Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blow job. A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Q: What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? A: Because his wife died Q: What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A: Because he only comes once a year, and it's down your chimney. Q: What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? I nicknamed my dong "Coin Flip" because it's always getting either head or tail. Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.